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A Telephone Conversation: Entry #1

By: Casey Jameson
A Telephone Conversation Entry #1

“And you sir.  Sorry about that there was some guy asking for change.  Oh come on, he stank, really stank.  Look I haven’t got a human side, what you see is what you get.  Yes, ha ha!  Not very much, you’re a princess.  Okay, okay, I’ll give him the money even though he’ll just spend it on thunderbird.  Yes I know it is charity not an investment in a company, but come on I must have some say in what he does with it?

Can we stop talking about the tramp; tell me about your day, any excitement?  You always say that.  Well you could make something up.  I don’t know use your imagination.  No not the story about the elephant.  Because that’s what you always say.  It’s not funny, it’s just sad, there’s only room for one comedian in this relationship.  Yes, that’s right your Abbott to my Costello.  No sorry that’s the way it is.  It’s nothing to do with fair it’s all to do with ability.  Yes you do make me laugh, but I’m laughing at you.  Yes it was another long day.  Some of it was interesting, some of it was bullshit.  I don’t know, maybe I’ve been doing this too long.  Yeah, yeah, I’m sure it will seem different in the morning.  I think I need to do something different, something real.  I know it’s real but it’s not a job for a grown man.  Why couldn’t I have been a plumber, I suppose I could still be.  Maybe a gravedigger, people are always dying.  What do you mean I wouldn’t like getting my hands dirty?  You cheeky woman, I’m a son of toil I’ll have you know, peasant stock through and through.  No, it’s true, there’s nothing I don’t know about potatoes, give me some land and before you can say incest there’d be food on the table.  I do not have womanly hands; they’re gnarled and callused from all my time on the rowing machine.  That’s not middle class, that’s me looking after myself; I mean one of us has to be trim in this relationship.  Nope, you don’t scare me; you can’t get me I’m too far away.  You’ll have forgotten my witty repartee by the time I’m back.  Go on, reinstate the points system, see if I care.  You don’t scare me, especially when you’re a 1000 miles away.  Anyway, I might be developing my own points system and unlike your crude unstructured approach, mine will be based on performance indicators and other important stuff that I know how to casually throw into the conversation.  Yes that’s it; I’m an international business consultant and a man of mystery, ready for any innovation emergencies.  You won’t be laughing babe once I’ve developed my own business model for technology transfer, all I need is a meaningless but go-getting name and then I’ll be minting it baby.  I’ll have hot innovative chicks wanting my autograph and wanting to run their hands through my value chain.  I’ll be in demand.”

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